Duck Duck Cougar?
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Randomize