the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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