just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I smell stomach acid.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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