census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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