Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
