Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
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Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
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I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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