the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
