fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
love makes seman taste better
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Randomize
