It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Its about making memories worth repressing
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize