that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
is wine microwaveable?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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