I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
