so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
