Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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