First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
found the other keg... it's in the tree
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
