Is it because I queefed?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
