I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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