I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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