ya dads aren't the best wingmen
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
