I hate all girls vehemently.
only if we run a train.
done.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Randomize
