Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Plan B is the new Plan A
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
