perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
