I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
