okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
