woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
