He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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