id be glad to
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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