Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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