he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
