Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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