I can tuck mytits in my pants
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
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