What did we do last night that was yellow?
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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