So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
