it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
