Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
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I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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