You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
They took my balls.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
