Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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