I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
