Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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