babies were throwing up all over the place
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
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And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
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Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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