Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
