i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
