He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
