She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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