i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
