i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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