I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
