if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
