You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
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