Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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