my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
