We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Is her dick bigger than yours?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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