i just wanna soil my oats bro
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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