I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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