You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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