Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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