..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
