we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
